Let’s Talk Respect

pretty girls laughing

Most people think they’re doing something wrong if they’re not being respected. That they’re not making it abundantly clear to the other person that they want respect. That they deserve it.

But the truth is that respect is one of those things you can’t buy at the store. You can’t request it, and you certainly can’t force people to give it to you.

There are four main steps to follow for achieving respect, because it’s something you earn, and here they are:

  1. Be dependable
  2. Be teachable
  3. Be generous
  4. Be humble


People respect someone who is dependable. You say you’re going to do something, and you follow through. You say you’re going to be there, and you are.

Next, you have to be willing to learn and be taught. If you’re not the type who likes criticism or asks for advice, you will not be respected, because you’re close-minded and too focused on yourself and your thoughts.

If you are not generous, you will not be respected. Selfish people don’t get along well with others and it’s often hard for people to get close to them and see where they’re coming from if they can never put themselves in other people’s shoes. Generosity goes a long way and can strike a chord with almost anyone.

When you have respect, it’s easier to gain success. Whether that success comes in the form of fame, money, relationships, health, possessions, etc. doesn’t matter. What matters is how you handle your success.

Taylor Swift said in her E! True Hollywood Story, how she always wondered how celebrities could soar so high and then instantly be taken down. Then she realized it was about humility. Those who let fame get to their head ended up self-sabotaging or losing fans or not trying anymore. By staying humble and remembering always how blessed she is, Taylor Swift stays on top and ahead of the game.

In fact, the one time she lost credibility as an artist was when she tried to be sly and deceived the public about her conversation with Kanye West and whether or not she was notified about the fact that he would be using a naked replica of her in his “Famous” music video. Kim Kardashian revealed a tape in which Taylor Swift is made aware of the video but Taylor claims she didn’t know Kanye was going to use the b-word in his lyrics. Regardless of what happened, people were disappointed that Taylor wasn’t more straightforward from the beginning and her good girl reputation came crumbling down.

And thus, this situation gave birth to Taylor’s unexpected album, “Reputation”.

I respect that girl no matter what games tabloids try to play, but it just goes to show how you earn respect and how you lose it.

God says the most valuable thing a person can own is respect. And by being humble, He will make us successful (Colossians 3:12).

But telling your boyfriend after the third time he has cheated on you that you deserve more respect is just as pointless at being upset with a toddler who interrupts you when you’re talking–neither of them will ever learn to respect you until your actions are loud enough to garner that response. I.e. if you said you’re done after the second time he cheats, yet you’re not, then he no longer considers your word dependable. And if your toddler doesn’t obey you and you haven’t changed the way you discipline or try to teach him, and refuse to take advice from anyone else, it means you’re not allowing yourself to be teachable.

At the root of it all, you have to do some character cross-training, as my pastor calls it, because it’s not easy to follow the four steps. You’ll fall down many times but have to persevere, even when you get hurt or disappointed or lose faith in humanity and yourself. Focus on God. Put your hope in Him and the rest will come.

The things that are impossible with man are possible with God (Luke 18:27)

Stay on His path for you and you’ll find yourself with respect, success and more.

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