What 8 Months Pregnant Looks Like

So, I hate taking pictures. And I hate sharing personal stuff. But I want to be able to connect with others out there, especially moms that feel like they’re going through it all alone. Therefore, I decided to write honestly about my 8th month of pregnancy. Because it’s not easy. And it’s kinda scary being so close to the finish line!

I’ll highlight below how my life has been recently. Laugh if you must. I’ll remind you that Khloe Kardashian is also 8 months pregnant, apparently. But she seems to be living a ‘different’ experience than us common folk here with sock marks on our ankles and sweat in every fold of our bodies.

1. I take showers in the dark because then it’s like I’m sleeping in a few minutes longer.

2. It’s almost impossible to bend over all the way so my husband has to put my socks and shoes on for me in the morning.

3. I really am irritable in general. Don’t look at me (or my food) in a bad way.

4. Speaking of food, I had a craving for peanut butter that was so bad yesterday during work that I almost asked my secretary to borrow money so I could buy a jar from Walgreens.

5. I’m fat everywhere and I’m pretty sure my bra size is no longer correct but I’m too lazy (and wise) to buy another one. Sports bras for the win, people.

6. I run out of breath even if I’m just sitting down.

7. We keep the air at 71F in our home and it’s usually 20F outside but I’m still very hot at night, even with a fan pointed straight at me. So I sleep with sheets as covers instead of real blankets.

8. I ordered only one slice of pizza today and the owner asked if I was dieting.

9. The other day I HAD to have lemonade and popsicles.

10. I’ve been trying to spend more time with my son but even he’s noticed my size change. He says things like mommy’s too big or mommy’s too heavy (repeating my excuses when I tell him I don’t fit on his 4-wheeler or slide).

11. I don’t think my towel covers my whole body anymore so I’ll have to see if they sell industrial sized ones that I can bring with me to the hospital on the day of the birth.

12. People on the streets and at work look at me like I’m a ticking bomb about to explode. If they don’t ask about my due date, they usually ask how I’m feeling or just try to walk at a distance from me.

13. Sometimes I don’t walk fast enough to make it to the bathroom. My husband thinks it’s funny. Maybe I should pee on his foot.

14. My memory is awful and I’m lucky to speak coherent sentences or call my husband by the right name sometimes. I put milk in the pantry by accident the other day.

15. I constantly wonder how people with more than two kids at home manage this pregnancy thing. I feel guilty enough not being able to fully play with my one toddler.

16. Bedtime has been 9pm these days but it should be 7pm. That’s about the hour where I am of no use to anyone.

17. I get burnt out folding laundry. It’s too much arm movement involved.

18. I got an ear infection, upper respiratory infection and pink eye the other week and still had to wake up and live my life without sleeping.

19. Clothes don’t really fit so I keep having to throw things in the ‘one day will fit again’ pile.

20. My face is fatter than my body, I think. But I don’t know how to exercise my face so…

21. I don’t like these prenatal appointments where all they do is take my weight and measure my belly. I already know I’m getting bigger. Leave me alone. I skipped one on purpose last month…

22. I take the train to work and used to have to run across the parking lot to make it on time, where I almost slid on ice.

23. I stopped carrying a purse because it’s extra weight I have to carry on top of my already large body.

24. I only put makeup under my eyes to hide my bags but lately I think it’s been accentuating them more than anything. And some days I don’t even care to bother with makeup.

25. I’m full of more gas than a helium balloon and the odor scares even me.

26. There are no coats that fit me anymore so I wear them all without buttoning them.

27. I really hate radio talk shows. Why is there a need to talk, especially ”filler” talk at 7am? Please shut up.

28. I cried at a girls’ high school basketball game because the idea of so many people coming together for a common cause ‘moved’ me.

29. My nails look pretty but I think I’ve accidentally skipped a total of about 30 days worth of prenatal vitamins from when I was so sick in my first trimester.

30. My midnight snack is eating four bowls of generic Froot Loops in the dark. My husband thought I was a raccoon or thief the other day when he went to check on the noises coming from the kitchen.

31. It hurts to stand while I shower because my own weight digs into the shower tiles.

32. I stopped using stretch marks cream on my body because it smells awful at the end of the day.

33. I try to act normal but I’m either overheated or half asleep most of the time.

34. It seems my husband breathes, eats and talks too loudly these days.

35. I don’t fit into booths.

36. I can’t really carry my son.

37. My mind obsesses over what to do if baby comes early.

38. I still take the train everyday with people that are scared of me going into labor any minute now.

39. Articles about pregnancy annoy me. They’re so useless and sugar coated. I don’t care about what you think I need in my hospital bag. How do I mark my kid with glitter or Sharpe so they don’t steal him from the nursery? And what do I do when my insurance won’t pay for all of my hospital bills?

40. Amazon, I will have zero patience if you’re late on my subscriptions for the third month in a row.




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