Being a kid in a Hispanic family has its perks and downfalls but they’re all memorable. See how many things on this list you can relate to. For those that didn’t grow up in a Hispanic household… just know I’m not making this stuff up.
1. You were always late to parties.
2. The host was usually still doing her hair and getting dressed by the time everyone showed up to her party.
3. You know more swear words in Spanish than in English-but you have a hard time translating to your non-Spanish speaking friends.
4. You’re scared of shoes, brooms, pans, belts and really any random object near you when you make a mistake because you know your mom can use it as a weapon.
5. You know what Malta and plaintain chips are.
6. Your mom can hold phone conversations for over 3 hours.
7. You know who Don Francisco is.
8. You’ve seen at least one telenovela (stop denying it, guys)
9. Your cousins are as close to you as your siblings.
10. You didn’t own anything brand name, not even cereal.
11. Your supermarket most likely had a Spanish name.
12. Your neighborhood had at least one family that hosted a domino night.
13. Your mom used grocery bags as trash bags.
14. Your parents saved ketchup and mayo packets as well as plastic utensils and anything else they could bring home for free (samples, pens, favors, etc.)
15. Being late on bills was not a big deal until final notices came in (and even then you could still buy yourself a few extra days).
16. You probably didn’t have pets and if you did, they lived outside.
17. Your friends always asked why your mom was yelling while you were on the phone–unaware that this is her normal volume.
18. You have at least 20 relatives that you’ve never met but when you see them, they have all these stories of when you were a baby.
19. If you misbehaved in public, you had better be prepared for what was waiting for you at home as a punishment for embarrassing your mother.
20. You weren’t allowed to go outside with wet hair.
21. If you’re a girl, your mom might have used a real iron to straighten your hair.
22. Your parents always asked why you were crying but in a way that made it seem like if you don’t stop crying you’re gonna get it worse.
23. If you’re a boy, you were spoiled and could do no wrong… until you got a girlfriend that urged your mom to constantly list all the reasons why she wasn’t good enough for you (and feel bitterly replaced).
24. Your parents used Adobo in every meal.
25. You learned to scrub the bathrooms and mop at the age of 6.
26. Your mom could start a conversation with any stranger and both would inevitably exchange their life stories.
27. Your sex talk was ‘don’t do it’.
28. Family gossip traveled faster than light.
29. The chancleta was a multi-purpose tool that your mom could use for spanking, killing bugs, or as shoes.
30. Your mom always insulted others in Spanish, assuming they wouldn’t be able to understand what she was saying- even if sometimes they knew Spanish too…oops.